Ok I am in need of some advice.
As most of you know, Kinley started daycare in late August.
It seems since then she has been coming home & acting out in the WORST ways. She is hitting us, screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing things, throwing food on the floor, saying NO 24/7, saying I DON'T LIKE IT at almost anything.. I can even ask her if she wants a cookie & she will say (or scream I should say) that she doesn't like it! She thinks time out is a game.. and if I swat her hand she just thinks she has the the ok to hit too. Any punishment I give her, she of course screams even louder & hits even harder. We can't really even take her to resturants anymore bc she acts out so bad.
I know it's terrible two's but what are some things you all have done to lay down the law?!!
My sister told me tonight to maybe put her in her crib (with no toys of course) & shut the door for a couple minutes..so I will try that tomorrow (I say tomorrow bc I KNOW she will be at it again as soon as she comes home).
And most importantly--WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SWEET LITTLE BABY!!??
14 comments:
She's probably just playing out some of the behavior she is seeing at daycare. She is testing you to see if she can get away with things. 2 is a difficult age, but she will grow out of it.
Lord, I know what you mean! Price doesn't hit (yet) bur he does a lot of the other things you mentioned. Taking things away that he likes sometimes helps. I try really hard to reinforce the good behavior too so he knows when he's doing something good. Overall, this age is so freaking hard! Let me know what you figure out!
Oh no!! I don't know what to tell you. I am still learning also. I just ignore Paytons bad actions as much as possible. Like when she throws down on the floor pitching a fit I just walk away and act like I don't hear her and she gets over it fast. Now I am scared because I see what is most likely ahead! hehe It sounds like you have your hands full!! Good luck! =)
We ignore Garrett. If he throws one of his fits or acts out I just pick him up and put him in his room and leave him there for a while. This really hurts his feelings. I don't know what the right answer is, but just know you are not alone!
THANKS everyone :) We are mostly ignoring her now. Last night we ignored her and then after a little while she was done. and she was nice the rest of the night. I just hate it bc I feel like I cant take her to friends houses or anywhere 4 that matter!!! We went to dillards the other day & had to leave bc she just started screaming at the top of her lungs for no reason, just to make me mad.
The biggest change is daycare, obviously...she doesn't understand that all of the sudden there's no mommy, daddy, nana, or papa during the day....not to mention her being sick, nana having surgery, papa being in the hospital, and potty training.... ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Lay that many changes on a 2 yr old and they'll crash every time. Try laying low and not doing much, let her stay home as much as possible where nothing has changed. EXTRA EXTRA love EVEN during TIME OUTS make sure you tell her you love her and lots of hugs!!!! Her world has just flipped upside down and the only way she knows how to communicate this to you is by acting out. Plus all children feel the stress of families and goodness knows you guys have had it these past several weeks :)
Think about it. I know alone time in a room may work for some two yr olds, but do you think she may feel abandoned? Maybe try sitting down and holding her thru the fit, be sure and let her know that her behavior is not acceptable in a low and calm voice. I'm not sure more alone time in a room by herself is the answer. She may have new friends and teachers at school and they may be the BEST but she doesn't have what she's ALWAYS known and that's nana. She has to have time to adjust :) Give her kisses from me...I'll say prayers.
Audree has been acting out a lot lately too and she isn't in daycare haha! She has gotten to the "no" stage and the "uh uh" and shakes her head. She also likes to drag her toys out and not pick them up. She will scream and cry because well we make her pick them up. She hasn't gotten to the point where she acts like that in public yet, but I really think its just the "2's" she is going through. Soon your sweet Kinners will be back :o)
I know it is frustrating. The behaviors are common for her age, daycare or no daycare. She is testing her boundaries with you and exerting her independence. Connor does the screaming thing too. You are doing right by removing her from the situation. I try with Connor to divert his attention to something, start couting or singing with him, or produce a toy that he does not see daily from his bag. A toy that he does not see on a daily basis causes instant interest sometimes. I do say sometimes! It will get better I promise. Remember that all kids go through this phase so do not get embarrassed when out or flustered as she will pick-up on this and continue the behavior. Be firm and let her know her behaviors are not acceptable. I agree with the others too that ignoring her and walking away when able will help because she is not receiving attention. Good luck girl and do not stress too much. Things will get better.
Oh Shelly I feel your pain. Most importantly, know it's not just Kinley..all kids do this to some extent. I think it is definitely a combination of what she is seeing other kids do at daycare and all of the recent stress/changes with your mom and dad. That is a lot to take in. When you say she's saying "I don't like that" -well you know where that's coming from. That's exactly what we taught the kids to say to one another at ACL, remember? She must think it's the cool new thing to say. Ha!
However, all that being said, I am a firm believer in showing her who is in charge. You are the mom, she is the child. Yes, her little world is changing, but acting like a crazy person is not the correct way to deal with change. I agree with Miranda that you should put her in her crib for a few minutes. I would firmly say something like "When you can treat mommmy & daddy nicely, you can join us again". I would give a lot of FIRM "No, we don't do that in this family, or "we act nice to one another in this house" type of things. She will get the message loud and clear after a few trips to the crib, but the key is CONSISTENCY. Do it every single time and she will quickly learn that her behavior is not okay. When she stops screaming or is doing good PRAISE HER TONS! I say "Oh I'm so glad you're done with your fit so you can come back and play with me".
I'm sure you have some mommmy guilt and may think putting her in her room alone is mean, but it is way better than getting too frustrated her. Last night (out of the blue) Holdyn started kicking me while I was trying to get his p.js on. He would not stop. So you know what? It was straight to bed. No singing, no rocking. I felt bad for not singing to him for the first time EVER at night, but it was better than spanking him or having a power struggle. If they don't respond after a swat or two..they aren't going to.. so it's NIGHT NIGHT BABY HO WO!! haha
Good luck and let me know how things go =) Remember tonight when you are both at your wits end, just know that parents everywhere are dealing with the exact same thing! And we all should meet up for a margarita! heehee
HAHA! Welcome to the 2's my love!!! Fun times are ahead :) I would advise against the crib time out - you don't want her to associate her crib with something bad - may make for some hard times ahead going to bed. I am a firm believer in spankings and time out - you just have to be firm and consistant - the hardest part I know! Just know you are not alone!
It's nice to know you have friends and family in the same position as you! Alot of good advice. You're just going to have to see what works best for your situation . The best advice is be consistant with whatever you choose to do. She will get better Shelly! Daycare and Everything else is playing a big part of this! Just give her time and she will adjust!
And then she grew an opinion, lol.
Be careful with putting her in the crib without toys if it is meant more for a punishment. She might fight going to bed at night because of it. I honestly let BG cry and scream it out. The first couple of times I thought the neighbors would call the police or a priest for an exorcism but she eventually learned she wasn't getting any attention from me when she acted like that. It was tough. LM is approaching this stage now :-(
Ok people after I told her this I did call her back and tell her it wasn't such a good idea. And other ideas were given to her. So stop emailing me everyone! ;)
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